I once had this most important person, in my love life. I was still a girl back then. I can’t define what love is. I can’t even say “I love you” to him as often as he did. We were so damn in love. But I can’t even say that important words perfectly
I remember it was the after-class bell. Junior high school. 2002. One of my friend, a boy, called my name. He asked my number, “just for asking about home work”, he said. And I was a very fierce girl. I refused to give my number, but then I gave him, still with a grumpy face. Then my cellphone rang, that evening. A boy with stupid voice and giggled too much, called, asked about home work. I said “I don’t give a damn to those home work.” And as you know the one who called is a different boy from that who’d asked my number. It was him. The boy that I was then fell in love for 7 years in a row, until now. Yes, I never stop fell for him all those 7 years. True that I had boyfriends after him, but never, never I really love them as I supposed to. My heart was lost through those years. Taken by a boy, a stupid boy who don’t really know what his love could do to me.
After that phone call, I didn’t straight away to like him. But after days and days being together, and yes I was his best friend then, I realised there’s something between us. January 2003, I couldn’t hold it any longer. My feelings for him are true, as true as how I can see my two hands. But I kept it. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. So I kept silent. But he doesn’t. He sometimes murmur and yapping about how he likes me. I just laughed. Hold my mouth shut. Oh, how I really want to scream and say I got a crush on him. Very bad.
Then one day we fought, well we fought a lot actually, and this time we really fought. We don’t speak for almost a year sharp. He got a few girls, and me, none.
On our 3rd grade, we made up, but I knew our friendship won’t return as it was. It’s true. Because then he asked me how about if I’ll be his girlfriend. It was August 6th 2004. Of course I said yes, I still love him. Still do, no matter what. But we still fought a lot, even more than before. He said I was indifferent and too cool. Not true, I was still a girl, I was still too shy. We broke up 3 times in about 4 months relationship. Then we really broke up.
We went to different high school. But I still couldn’t forget him. Then one day he came back, asked for another relationship. Foolish me, I still wanted him that bad, so again I said yes. And still the faith didn’t want us to be together. But after that we still talked to each other. I still came to his house to visit his mother. We still shared some stories.
I realized I can’t be attached to him like this. So I decided to really forget him, even though it was very very very hard. That I never really forget him. It was nice to have him as my very first love, first kiss, first this and that. It was very important to me. ‘Cause it was him. And honestly if I think back again, he wasn’t as bad as I thought back when I was still that stupid little girl. He was nice, loyal, sweet, caring, and a man. I just want to say, sorry I never show you how I love you so much, I really should have loved you as you loved me.
I will always love you, my first kiss… My caring and selfish boy… My Briantoro Mahatmadjati.
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! —— Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.